Ever since I was a little girl, I have been described by all who have known me as dramatic and theatrical. As soon as I could, I joined theatre and any other arts-related activities. I quickly became drawn into music specifically. I very quickly realized how scared I would get for the monologue I had to perform rather than my solo I had to sing. I, at first, blamed it completely on stage fright, but I didn't really understand why I had such a fear of it until recently.
The first show I ever performed in was called the Granny Awards in 5th grade. Basically, this was a musical about an award show for Disney and Fairytale characters such as the Three Blind Mice, The Big Bad Wolf, Snow White, Cinderella, etc. I played one of Cinderella's evil step-sisters. I don't exactly remember having any lines, but I did have a solo. I didn't have any fear associated with it however, I knew that I loved to sing and I wasn't unsure about anything.
The next show I was in was the first lead role I had ever gotten and I was in 6th grade. It was called "The Grunch", a spoof on "The Grinch". It was about a middle schooler names Rudy Grunch who hated theatre and came up with a plan to ruin the musical at their school. Rudy then falls in love with theatre and ends up joining the group and having a great time with everyone as a team. I had this monologue about hating musicals and every time I had to perform it in front of everyone, I would get so incredibly afraid and forget the line. A solo would follow that monologue and I looked forward to it the most.
When I got into middle school, it was just more of the same. I was cast as Mother Abbess in The Sound of Music Jr! I never felt like I was ever playing a part or fully acting. I didn't feel like my acting was good and I was just Allie Goodricke saying lines about being a nun. It was really frustrating for me. I would try and try to become the character, but it never was as authentic as it should have been.
When I entered high school in my Sophomore year, I was cast as Hildy Esterhazy in our production of On the Town! This show was based in the 1940s around the second world war, and these 3 sailors are visiting New York City for 24 hours before their leave. Along the way, they each meet the loves of their lives. Hildy was basically the female lead of the production. With 5 solos, over 100 lines, and a duet with a boy, I was both excited and the most nervous for a role I have ever been in. Of course, I wanted the role, but it was a tremendous responsibility. I had that same uncertainty as I did when I was in middle school. My character was supposed to be a flirty, confident, forward, and dramatic cab driver who was pining over one of the sailors she met. Over the months of rehearsals, I grew more and more uncomfortable fully expressing myself through the role. I felt as though I was the weakest actor on that stage, but I tried really hard to do the best I could.
When I found out that the show was canceled due to the pandemic, I found myself relieved. I loved being on the stage with everyone and performing such an amazing show, but I knew that I could never pull off that role as much as I desperately wanted to. Now being cast in the Theory of Relativity, I am relieved to have found out that I don't have any lines, and all of my songs are so fun to sing and I know I'll have a great time with them. I think, for now, I'll just stick to singing.
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| On the Town cast From left to right: Claire, Ozzie, Ivy, Gabey, Hildy, and Chip |
Allie I remember watching you rehearsing the cab scene and although it wasn't perfected your facial expressions and body language really captured Hildy. I'm not trying to discredit how you feel, but I think you would've done a great job if the musical happened. You're so talented, not just vocally, I think you could be an actor. Also I don't have any lines either in TOR and it's wondrous, but solos scare me too. Anyways RIP On The Town and I'm excited to see your performance in TOR.
ReplyDeleteI agree with Henry when he says that you would have done amazing in your role, but I can relate to what you are saying when you talk about musicals. I was in many musicals until I reached high school when unfortunately basketball interfered with rehearsals. I loved to sing on stage but memorizing and reciting lines was never my forte. I found I had more fun when I was singing in musicals rather than portraying a character.
ReplyDeleteI think everyone who knows you is well aware that you are an incredibly talented singer. Your voice is such a gift, and when you sing it is like a gift to whoever is listening. I was so proud of you for being cast as Hildy! But of course, experiences like that are meant to show you your strengths and weaknesses, your interests and dislikes. Maybe acting isn't for you, and that's okay! Either way, you know that singing is your passion and that is enough. Plus, with a voice like that you don't need to act. :)
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