Wonder Woman 1984,
More Like Wishy Washy 1984 😆 🙈
SPOILER ALERT!!!
If you're excited to see the second Wonder Woman movie from DC Films like I was, rewatch the first one instead. I had a weird Christmas, like I think every did last year, and this movie just intensified the weird. To clarify, the movie was very well made and started out great, I just wish DC spent more of their money on better writers than their amazing film editors.
To understand my review of this movie, let me first summarize it a bit so you can understand my analysis later. It all started out like I mentioned before with this jolt of excitement. Maybe it had a lot to do with the action music, but seeing young Diana (Wonder Woman) again gave me confidence in the future storyline. The first Wonder Woman movie begins with a tail of young Diana as well which explains my naive enthusiasm. There was a huge competition among the Amazon's, a group of women who raised Diana, that concludes with young Wonder Woman learning an important life lesson from her mother. Fast forward to the eighties where we find Diana all grown up with her big eighties hair holding a gallon sized can of hairspray. Actually, no, it appeared society hadn't changed Diana, her only character development was becoming a local superhero in D.C. Later we are introduced to a quirky Kristen Wiig, her character Barbara becomes obsessed with Diana's popularity and eventually steals her identity. A dream stone, similar to a genie lamp, gave Barbara her power to do so. She physically and mentally transforms, Barbara even gets Diana's super powers. The main villain of this story is Max Lord, a failing oil baron, who finds the dream stone and wishes to become it. Max now can get whatever he wishes for, not through the stone, but by forcing others to make their single wish to benefit himself. I find this new approach to genie magic very original, but that's the extent of creativity in the writer's office for this movie. Prior to all of these wishes Diana gets her hands on the stone and asks for her dead boyfriend, so of course he comes back from the dead. Eventually we figure out that wishing takes your best qualities from you, as a result Diana's powers slowly decrease. She then takes her wish back which reverses all effects from the dream stone for her only. A big battle between Barbara and Diana takes place. Barbara knows Diana is after Max Lord and the stone, who are now combined, so she defends it by wishing to become "the apex predator." As you can imagine this is when everything falls apart for me. If you are planning to watch the movie as well you'll see what I mean. That is assuming you don't fall asleep before that scene from the hour long character development of Barbara and the pointless storyline of Diana's dead boyfriend experiencing the modern world. I won't spoil the ending, maybe this movie interests you, maybe it could be a good laugh, maybe it could be a good nap.
This was a blockbuster, huge film for the year and it didn't live up to my expectations. However, I did enjoy the ending. Max Lord, the genie-like villain, finally was honest with himself and his son. It appeared as though they had a bright future together, that is if Max isn't imprisoned for life. As a side note I found an interesting connection between both Wonder Women movies. In the first movie Diana is introduced to normal 1940's society by Steve, her now dead boyfriend I mentioned earlier. There's a slight irony in the 1984 film when Diana then shows Steve the modern day (1980's) world. One of my favorite scenes is when Steve and Diana steal a plane, which is most likely the notorious invisible plane like in the comics. Steve is enthused by the many scientific discoveries, being a pilot himself, planes look very different 70 years in the future.
To add onto my already extensive list of reasons not to waste three hours on this film, here's another. The drastic inconsistency between films, the one that bothers me most being the ability to fly. Ending WWI in the first movie, Diana learns the ability to fly and eventually destroys the god influencing the war. For some reason the writers decided in the second movie the only way Diana could fly was by using her lasso to fling herself in the air. My final issue with Wonder Woman 1984 is the usage of such a famous saying as the main theme, "be careful what you wish for." Can we not base an entire blockbuster film on such an unoriginal thought please? I really wanted more from this movie and I would like my three hours back. You'll be hearing from my lawyer DC Films.