Heartbreaks :(
It’s crazy at our age seeing all of our friends getting into relationships with people. It’s almost normal for relationships at our age to not last very long. Everyone is maturing at their own pace and it’s almost impossible to find two people that can make it through such a confusing time period. It is different when you’re an adult, or at least it's supposed to be.
When you spend years of your life together, coexisting peacefully (for the most part), it’s hard to believe it can ever go wrong. I’ve witnessed this happening twice in my life. From the young age of about 10, I knew that my parents didn’t get along. I thought it was normal that the people that I connectedly called “Mom and Dad” didn’t sleep in the same room, let alone be in the same room with each other, without it being hostile. Playing house with my friends back then was confusing because I was convinced that the normal thing was to have parents sleep separately. My mom and dad got divorced back in 2010 I believe. A few years after, my mom met my then stepdad. We will call him Matt.
At first, I was optimistic to the idea of a new person entering my life as long as it made my mom happy. Over the years, a level of trust and love developed in me for Matt. They finally got married after about 7 years. He lived in New Jersey the whole time before they got married. I said this to my mom many times throughout the relationship when she would have doubts about moving in with him: "Mom, since you and Matt live so far away from each other and have arguments, its so incredibly easy for you both to just turn off your phones and ignore each other, but because you're moving in with each other, you guys have to get used to not being able to run away from your problems with each other and deal with it." I don't think she fully understood what I meant until it finally became a reality.
Matt lived with us here in Nazareth for about four months. In that time, the environment became filled with that same toxicity I had previously viewed with my dad. I'm not going into too much detail, but the way it ended between them was extremely hurtful. I've never seen my mom so damaged. When you share your life with someone as an adult, you're reminded of that teenage heartbreak feeling that's so familiar to kids our age these days.
My mom is one of the strongest person I've ever known. In the past few months, she has grown into someone I am so incredibly proud of. She now stands up for herself, notices toxic behavior, identifies all possible solutions to a problem, etc. I think it took something like what happened to her to teach her how to become the best version of herself, and I can't imagine how difficult is is for her to learn all of these life lessons at once. I love my mom so much, and I'm so proud of her.
P.S: My phone doesn't wanna share pictures with my Chromebook, so I'm just gonna upload a picture of my moms favorite flower :)
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Even though I have never met your mom, she seems incredibly strong. It is hard enough for us as kids to deal with heartbreak, but to see a parent go through it is almost even harder. I know it isn't ideal for her to learn these lessons in these tough ways, but I am sure she is a much better person after over coming all these difficult obstacles. Last but not least, I think the sunflowers are perfect for her; they almost represent the rekindled joy in her life after all the bad.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing your thoughts on this. It's a thoughtful reflection on relationships in general and I love how you explain that your "takeaway" from all of this is respect for your mom's growth. I hope you've said all that to HER and not just your classmates!
ReplyDeleteAllie, I have been so grateful to have been able to grow up in contact with your family- especially your mom. Despite going through such hardships, I feel as though this has led/will lead the bond you share to grow even stronger than it already is. I hope that she finds peace in a future relationship, but more importantly, within herself first. Though this directly happened to her, please remember not to belittle your feelings. Changes in relationships within guardians affect you just as much, and how you feel is completely valid. Thank you for sharing this. I am so incredibly proud of you both; your resilience is inspiring.
ReplyDeleteYour mom is such a strong person. Being here for all of the events she has endured over the past couple months, I know how hard this whole situation has been on not only her, but the whole family. I am so thankful for the conversations I have with her. I am forever grateful for all of the things she has done for me. You have been amazing through this whole situation, and I know that she is very thankful for you. Love both of you so much!
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