Many people have told me running is like a drug. Years ago I would have told them, they were crazy. How can you be addicted to the utter exhaustion that comes from pushing yourself while running? Well now I can attest to that idea and confirm that running is my drug.
It all starts with the dread. The apprehension I feel before is incomparable to any other dread I have felt in my entire life. I know I'm going to feel awful, tired, and my lungs will threaten to give out on me, yet I still run. I start my run, with thoughts racing through my head. All of my worries are at the forefront of my mind but slowly these thoughts disintegrate and disappear like the houses I am passing, one by one. As I reach a comfortable pace I am actively thinking nothing. This feeling is weird and indescribable, but zero thoughts are in my head. I go to my happy place where my mind is empty and none of my worries and thoughts exist. I know where I am, and the occasional thought of how cute the dog I passed was, does slip through my head but eventually every thought that was plaguing me, or stressing me out disappears. For a little while my head is clear and I feel free of all of my worries. Then comes the sprinting. This part of my workout is grueling and very demanding. I despise the sprinting portion, yet that is what I do. That is also the part of running I love the most. As I pick up my pace and start increasing speed I feel my breaths getting heavier and once I reach my top speed I feel my legs start to get tired, and my body starts yelling at me to stop. Except I can't stop. These feelings are all normal, expected, and the feeling that my lungs are going to collapse is very common for me. When I slow down to a running pace, my breathing starts returning to normal, and just in time for another sprint. With my arms pumping and feet hitting the ground I think to myself. Why? Why am I doing this? I could easily be at home watching Gilmore girls, eating some pizza, but instead I am outside in the bitter air. This pattern of sprinting and self ridicule happens for about 20 minutes until I slow to jogging pace and eventually a walk to catch my breath. At this point my lungs are screaming for air and I feel my legs threatening to give up on me. I tell myself that I will never run like that again, and this is not the activity for me. Yet later that night I felt myself longing to be running again. The pain and exhaustion is addictive, and I find myself reaching a high after running. A feeling that I can accomplish anything and my body is capable of pushing itself to its limits.
The addiction that I have to running is actually pretty healthy. Running keeps me active and offers me a way to use my energy despite being sidelined by an injury for nine months. I would recommend running to anyone who feels like they need to release energy and clear their mind. Being active gives you a purpose to work towards, whether it be training for a 400 or a marathon. As I actively dread my next run I realize that it is pointless, because running is my drug and something I cannot stop myself from doing.
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| Districts 2019 |
I am glad that you found running to be your type of drug and your addiction. I run all the time as well and I find it extremely therapeutic like you do. Running causes you to forget everything and clears your head so quickly. It gives you quiet time to think. After stressful days or when I need to make an uneasy decision, usually after my run, my mind has eased. Finishing a run is one of my favorite things.
ReplyDeleteI just recently started going on runs this past summer as something to do during the whole pandemic. I cant say I feel the same way about running as you do quite yet, but I do enjoy it. Like you mentioned running can feel so freeing and exhilarating but at the same time you feel as though your lungs are going to combust. Just like any addiction you hate it but at the same time love it, however in this case running is extremely good for you. I am glad you found something you love doing so much!
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